lucycou

There is a good chance I lost everything on my computer and external hard drive (backup) tonight.

Here’s my setup:

• 1 iMac with a 1 terabyte hard drive.
• 1 Western Digital terabyte external hard drive (backup).

What does that mean? That means that I have potentially lost:

• Over 40,000 photos. Seriously. Not exaggerating. Every photo I have ever taken in my entire life.
• Several days worth of personal videos.
• Several days worth of music.
• Countless e-books.
• All of my writings.
• Important stuff like taxes, resumes, forms, etc.
• Games and game saves, screenshots, details, etc.
• Sheet music for piano and ukulele.
• Lists upon lists of several different, random things.
• Journals. Everything I have ever written in my life.

I’m sure I’m missing a hell of a lot more than that, but it’s currently what comes to mind. I’m feeling a little empty inside. Everything that has ever meant anything to me could possibly be in a state of forever irretrievableness. Poof. Instantly gone. Forever.

After I had an hour or so to let the news soak in… I immediately thought of a few set of pictures that held extreme sentimental value to me. Pretty much any picture of Katrina. Our 1st anniversary together at the Grand Canyon. Key events in my life. High school. First moving out to Los Angeles. Our life in Texas. Living in our 1 bedroom apartment in Las Vegas. My parents. Family. Solitary walks at Mount Charleston. Our first pictures in Portland, Oregon. My grandfather on his deathbed… Forever lost.

Like I said earlier, all of this is almost surely lost. There is still some hope. A teeny bit of chance still exists to save my hard drive. Bob is working on it. But part of me feels like it’s already over. That I really have just lost everything.

I’m taking it better than I thought. Somehow I am not allowing myself to care too much about it. Who cares, really? It’s crazy to think that I could be so incredibly attached to something that really doesn’t matter. Why should it matter? Life is about experiences, right? As long as all of those experiences still exist in my mind, I haven’t really lost anything at all.  I still have everything.

My mind is too tired to think right now. I should be in bed already. I start work tomorrow at 6:00 AM. Why am I still awake? I have been letting my diet go to crap lately. I don’t know how much more I can or should take. Maybe losing everything is a wake up call.

RING, RING!!! WAKE UP!!! GET YOUR LIFE BACK ON TRACK! LIVE FOR EXPERIENCES! EAT RIGHT! BE HEALTHY! LET GO OF ALL MATERIAL POSSESSIONS! BE HAPPY!!!

I thought I was somewhat of a minimalist. Guess I really wasn’t quite there yet. I think I’m the closest I’ve ever been now.

To be honest, it feels kind of liberating. I feel free.

Maybe this is how it is supposed to be.

Much love,

lucycou

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