Skip to content

2012 New Year Resolutions

Thursday, December 22, 2011

So I had a marvelous idea late last night as I drifted off to sleep.

I need to wake up.

Maybe not at that exact moment, seeing as I was just drifting off to sleep for the night… but I need to wake up in life. How many of us are sleep walking through life? I’ve been quietly observing myself the past few weeks and I have found that my mind has constantly been buzzing with the same thoughts: I’m so bored. I don’t have enough friends anymore. She’s gone and now I don’t have anyone. There’s nothing to do. I don’t know how to move on from this.

I’m the only one keeping myself from moving on. I’m not being myself right now. I’m allowing myself to stagnate. So I’m bouncing back. I’m reminding myself of who I am. I’ll start with the things that I know for sure about myself and go from there. What do I know for sure? Well, I know that I love learning new things. I like helping people. I like doing things that make me feel good mentally, physically and soulfully. So, let’s start there.

2012 New Year Resolution Goals

  • Learning New Things. I should do just that. Time to bust out the local newspaper (or go online) and look up random classes. Doesn’t matter what it is, really. I need to go out there and just start taking as many different classes as possible. Who knows what I’ll find. Also… who knows who I’ll find. First thing on the list is a concealed weapon permit class. On Groupon for $35. Random. Fun. Bought!
  • Helping People. I’ve always wanted to volunteer but I never really have. Now’s the time to join a bunch of volunteering opportunities and give back. There are so many people/organizations that truly need help. I found an awesome group called Friends of Trees, full of lovely people who plant trees all around the city of Portland. How awesome is that?
  • Mental Stimulation. Reading. I’ve been reading a lot lately and have been really enjoying it. Lately I’ve been reading The Maze Runner series by James Dashner. Fun read! I’ve also been reading a lot of self development and spiritual texts. It never fails to brighten my spirit and mood.
  • Physical Improvements. First off, I need to take better care of myself. Raw food needs to be more prominent in my life again. I don’t think I’ll go full 100% again, but I definitely need more of it in my life. I’ve taken the first step and have finally replaced the Vitamix she took with her. Got myself a Blendtec. Figured I’d try something new as I’ve had 3 Vitamixes already. I also need to start doing something. It’s cold outside, but I don’t want to end up staying inside hibernating. I live super close to a gigantic park – might as well take advantage of it! Not to mention I could also do something warmer in the comfort of my own home - like yoga.
  • Helping the Soul. This one is interesting. What helps the soul? Good friends and connecting with people on a deep level seems like a good answer. Most of my friends live in different states at the moment. I haven’t really made deep connections with anyone in Portland quite yet. Time to change that.
  • Making Friends. Lately I’ve been having trouble with this one. I’m usually very outgoing and friendly, but I’ve been letting myself become too introverted while I coped with the break up. I had to work on myself first for a couple months, but I think I’m ready to spring back. Been searching MeetUp.org for fun local groups. Some of them seem promising. Other than that, I plan to just show up randomly in the city and just talk to people.

So those are my goals for the coming months. Early 2012 New Year resolutions. Decided to keep a blog as it keeps me accountable. It’s easy to give up if it seems like no one is paying attention. I know from experience this truly helps. My 30 day raw food experiment was a breeze because I had this website. This is next.

What are your goals for the new year?

<3 lucycou!

Filed in Personal Development | | Comments (1)

Quick Update – First of many to come!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Why hello there.

Very, very long time no see. I know this has been incredibly sporadic. I think I’m ready to get back to this website and bring it back to it’s original purpose – raw food, health and love.

At least, that’s what I think the original purpose of this website was for. :D

Doesn’t matter! I will be moving out this weekend. Finally getting my own place with only one other roommate. Which means… drum roll…. I FINALLY HAVE MY OWN KITCHEN AND SPACE TO MAKE RAW FOOD. You have no idea how excited I am about this. It’s going to be awesome.

I really, truly miss having my own kitchen space. I work a really early shift and am up and about by 3:45 AM. Right now I live with 3 other people, one of which is currently living in the living room… so it’d be pretty rude to get up so early and use the Vitamix to make green smoothies… You know what I mean?

But Friday is officially move out day and I will finally have my space again. Insert happy sigh here…

Look forward to raw food, health and love… bringing back the original purpose of this website.

Smile!

<3 lucycou!

ps. How am I doing since the break up? I am holding up surprisingly well. It’s still a tinge sad, but I am mostly feeling positive about it. I still support her. I will always love her. Part of me thinks that in the end, it’ll work out again between us and we’ll both be better people. If not, we’ll still be better people in the end. Works out no matter what.

Filed in Uncategorized | | Comments (0)

I ain’t even mad, dawg.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Wow.

I cannot believe that the last time I updated this blog was in Janurary. It has been almost 9 months. That is just ridiculous.

Well, there is definitely a lot to catch up on. I think this website is about to see a lot of changes and new material. I have no idea what direction it’s going to take off in… and honestly it doesn’t really matter. I just need an oulet for everything that has recently happened.

Let’s start.

It’s been about a month now since Katrina and I broke up. WHAT?!?!? Yes, I know. We had a lovely 5 year relationship/engagement, but now it is over. We’re actually still living together, which makes things incredibly difficult, but we’re managing it. We will figure it out soon.

To make a super long, complicated story short… We’re too fundamentally different. We had a fantastic relationship and we have both learned and evovled so much together, but we mutually agreed that we could no longer continue being together without making each other unhappy.

However, this doesn’t change the fact that it is extremely difficult to get over. I won’t lie. I am completely and utterly heartbroken. It’s been about a month and I’ve already lost a significant amount of weight. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not… I sure am looking good though! (Ladies… gentlemen… both are welcome…)

The hardest part about all of this is that we both know that we still love each other. We’re just too different and we’ve realized that we just can’t make it work without us both compromising too much of ourselves. It’s just fact now.

So going forward… I think this blog will now be about finding myself again and other awesome junk like that. I’m planning on doing a LOT more interesting things in the days to come. I want to post as much experience on this thing as I can and share awesome things with as many people as I can in hopes that I can make others’ lives interesting as well.

LET’S ALL GET OUT OF THIS FUNK!

This concludes my first update in much too long. More to come.

Filed in Uncategorized | | Comments (2)

Let’s Create and Inspire Once More!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I dared myself to go outside - RIGHT NOW! - and find something beautiful in this rainy weather.

I received an e-mail today from a stranger. She found my website and found it inspiring, she wanted to thank me. She originally found me by googling “chose/choose to be happy”. She found my post How to Choose To Be Happy. It helped her.

To be honest, I was completely surprised that this person found my website. It has been weeks, months since I really updated it. Somehow I lost my way, I forgot all about it during my move to Portland. It’s a sad thing.

This stranger, among other things, wanted some advice on finding a purpose. It made me think. Really think. I’ve been thinking a lot about purpose the last few weeks. Katrina, my fiance, finally decided what she wanted to do. Anyone who knows Katrina  knows that she absolutely LOVES babies. Anything related to babies. Pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, parenting – anything! She loves it all. Well, she finally decided that she wanted to start taking the important steps towards becoming a certified doula. I was ecstatic. Sure, we’d have to figure it out financially… but that is not a problem. It’s completely doable.

I’ve been getting really excited for her. We’ve been thinking about all of the extra things we can start doing to make it into a profitable business. Doula classes, pregnancy yoga classes, couple classes, photography/video during the birthing process, birthing tub rentals – so many different things we could offer! Then it really got me thinking… I don’t need to find my purpose. All this time, I’ve had one. It was just hard to pinpoint.

I love helping people. I truly, genuinely LOVE to help people. I love seeing other people get excited about THEIR passion. I love helping them, in any way I possibly can, to get to where they need to go. This entire time I’ve been looking for a “standard” purpose. Woodcarving. Flying airplanes. Reading. Writing. Medicine. Raw food. Sure, all of these are great, all of these interest me deeply… but they’re not my PASSION. There’s a difference. A passion is something that I will go completely out of my way to do. Something that I am ALWAYS in the mood for. For me, that’s helping people in a big way.

If a friend or family member ask me for money – BAM! It’s there. No questions asked. I keep a reserve for this purpose. Even if I have to deprive myself of a few things, I ALWAYS have a savings account just in case. Anyone asks for help? I will always say yes. I am always available. I see someone on the street who needs help? BAM! I’m there. How can I help you? How can I assist you?

These are the things that make me happy. I am genuinely excited to share with people what I know. I love teaching people. I’m a very happy and positive person and I always get e-mails and people who just come up to me to ask how I do it. How do I manage to be so happy most of the time? I am always willing to tell people, to share what I know. I want others to be happy too.

So I think I should keep this website going. I still have no clue where it’s going, if anywhere, but I figure that I should keep it updated with things that mean a lot to me. I’ve gotten several e-mails during the course of keeping this website updated from several wonderful people thanking me for sharing what I know. I don’t want to let these people down. I don’t want them to think I just gave up on it. Who knows if they’re even still keeping up with my posts. It doesn’t matter. I just need to share and keep it out there. Someone will always benefit from it.

Look forward to more posts. Especially healthy posts. I need to get back on tract. I need to keep inspiring others to reach their goals.

Much love to everyone.

Lucy

Filed in Personal Development | | Comments (1)

Life = Choices

Saturday, November 13, 2010
Photo by Katrina

Photo by Katrina

I’m currently sitting in bed wondering how long it’s going to take me until I get this healthy thing right.

It’s been a long road. I’ve gone from 100% cooked food to 100% raw vegan. I’ve tried everything in between and in all different combinations. I’ve done all of this within the last 3 years.

Today I ate an entire box of Trader Joe’s Ice Cream Bon Bons. They were absolutely delicious. It’s been about 2 hours since I ate them (oh, and I followed it with an ice cream sandwich) and my body is feeling it now. I just feel slow. Tired. I have a slight headache.

I’m glad I started this very long journey 3 years ago. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve felt the alienation that comes from being completely different from everyone else (in several ways). Trust me, living in Texas and being a 100% raw vegan is TOUGH. Texas was extra hard, but it’s pretty tough no matter where you live. Raw veganism, even just living a healthier lifestyle, is not the norm. At least in my experience.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently. Wondering exactly why it has to be so difficult. I’ve changed my complete mindset on the matter several times. I’ve went from “Ohh… I feel so terribly sad, empty even, that I can’t have this or that food anymore to comfort me,” to “I don’t need this or that food. I understand why it’s not the best option for me. I sincerely do not want to put it into my body.”

Then fast forward a two or three days of being excellent and I’m downing a bacon cheeseburger from Burgerville down the street. What happened there? How did I go from being completely determined and inspired to be healthy to not caring at all? How am I able to so easily go back and forth and justify both actions? So very easily see the logic and rightness behind two completely different actions?

I don’t believe in right and wrong. I believe in consequences. I do the right thing most of the time because I enjoy the after affects. I feel good when I do good. I don’t do bad things because I don’t want the consequences. I don’t have to worry and stress about getting caught by the police. I don’t have to worry about covering up my lies to get away with certain things. I just don’t find it rewarding.

So if I live my life by this certain code, why in the world do I constantly slip from my healthy regimen? I benefit in EVERY SINGLE WAY when I’m living a healthy lifestyle.

Examples:

1. I always feel fantastic after a good work out. Every single time. I have never gone on a walk, run or workout session without feeling amazing afterward. Even if I end up feeling a little naseous. It is ALWAYS worth it.

2. Eating raw vegan food always feels good. Every bite is thoroughly enjoyed and eaten without any guilt. I never have to worry if my food is cooked thoroughly enough or not. I never have to worry about feeling sleepy, tired or nasty after eating healthy. It’s just never an issue. I always feel light and happy.

3. I get to enjoy the every day benefits of being healthy. You know those little aches and pains that you assume are normal? The slight congestion in the morning that you think doesn’t really bother you? The almost unnoticeable eye boogers and bad breath upon waking? If you’re female, any menstrual pains at all? All of these things aren’t “normal”. They don’t exist when your body is working the way it’s supposed to. These are only a few benefits.

So why is it so hard? Good habits are formed by positive reinforcement, right? It’s the way we train dogs or any other animal. Do something good and you’re rewarded with something positive. It happens every single time anyone attempts to be healthy. We always get rewarded. Why do we ignore this? Are we the only species in the world that cannot be trained? I feel like a moron that just can’t GET IT. I keep messing up over and over again. I used to have a dog that I felt like I could just not train no matter what. I tried everything. I eventually just concluded that the dog was stupid and untrainable. Who’s untrainable now?

Wild, undomesticated animals don’t get diseases. They don’t die from these totally preventable diseases. Humans do. When have you seen fat animals in the wild? Even fat human beings who don’t live typical, modern lifestyles? They’re all healthy. Vibrant. Alive.

I can talk about this until I’m blue in the face. I can ramble on and on and list a bunch of statistics and facts. But what’s the point? None of it matters.

What is important for me? What will give meaning to my life? When I sit and think about it, the only thing I can think of is health. I want to be healthy. I don’t want to get cancer or disease down the road. I don’t want to die that way. But I also don’t want to alienate myself and live a lonely life. I moved to Portland, Oregon. There are more people in sync with my values here than ever. Why am I making it so difficult?

When I lived in Texas it was difficult because I had made friends already before I went raw vegan. My mistake was attempting to make those friends understand and accept my new lifestyle. The difference this time around is that I can start creating my new circle of friends exactly the way I want it to be. Instead of people who think BBQ’s are a great way to have fun (and, honestly, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that – it just isn’t my idea of a good time), I can begin anew and make friends with people who feel the way I do about life.

I’m much better at staying healthy when I have some way of recording it publicly. I don’t write this down for anyone else. I write it down for me. It’s a way to keep myself accountable. If I write it down, it’s recorded. I can go back and see how many times I’ve messed up. I can visually see what I’ve done wrong. If I don’t keep a record, it’s easy to forget and repeat my mistakes over and over. It’s a sure way to prevent myself from succeeding.

So let’s begin anew. Starting over from page one, yet again. I am in a new city. I am incorporating a new mindset. I’m getting a new place. It is the perfect time to start over and begin creating new, positive habits.

The only thing stopping me is myself. The most important lesson I’ve learned throughout the years is that I am the only person responsible for myself. My significant other is not responsible for me. My parents, siblings or friends aren’t responsible for me. No one is. There is only me.

Our choices define us.

Who am I choosing to be in every moment?

All I have to do is decide. Remember: not deciding is deciding.

Make up your mind and just do it.

Easier said than done, right? It shouldn’t have to be. I genuinely want to disprove this saying. It should never be easier said than done. It should be easy to do every time. Why should it be any other way?

Life is amazing. It’s an incredible thing. We should never have to settle for a mediocre life. I want to make it amazing.

Filed in Personal Development, Raw Food | | Comments (3)

Homeless Dude

Thursday, October 14, 2010

On the way home tonight I stopped by a convenience store to pick up a bottle of root beer for a friend. On the way back to my car, I almost didn’t hear the homeless dude to the right of me digging through of the trash. I turned my head slightly and tried to listen to what he was saying outloud to himself.

“I’m sorry! I don’t have a house. I don’t have a family. I’m sorry I’m digging through the trash. I’m so sorry. I don’t have anywhere to go. I need to dig through the trash. I’M SORRY!!! …”

I got into my car and closed the door. I sat there for a bit soaking the scene in. I wish I could have helped him. I wanted to tell him it was OK and to just take him to my home and make him a nice, warm dinner. Give him a place to sleep for as long as he needed.

Considering the fact that I am currently living in a studio apartment shared by 5 people… I’m sure it wouldn’t have worked out. I am grateful to have a warm, dry place to go home to at night. I wonder where homeless dude is sleeping tonight. I hope he’s ok.

I wish I could help everyone.

Filed in Uncategorized | | Comments (2)

Losing Everything

Saturday, October 9, 2010

There is a good chance I lost everything on my computer and external hard drive (backup) tonight.

Here’s my setup:

  • 1 iMac with a 1 terabyte hard drive.
  • 1 Western Digital terabyte external hard drive (backup).

What does that mean? That means that I have potentially lost:

  • Over 40,000 photos. Seriously. Not exaggerating. Every photo I have ever taken in my entire life.
  • Several days worth of personal videos.
  • Several days worth of music.
  • Countless e-books.
  • All of my writings.
  • Important stuff like taxes, resumes, forms, etc.
  • Games and game saves, screenshots, details, etc.
  • Sheet music for piano and ukulele.
  • Lists upon lists of several different, random things.
  • Journals. Everything I have ever written in my life.

I’m sure I’m missing a hell of a lot more than that, but it’s currently what comes to mind. I’m feeling a little empty inside. Everything that has ever meant anything to me could possibly be in a state of forever irretrievableness. Poof. Instantly gone. Forever.

After I had an hour or so to let the news soak in… I immediately thought of a few set of pictures that held extreme sentimental value to me. Pretty much any picture of Katrina. Our 1st anniversary together at the Grand Canyon. Key events in my life. High school. First moving out to Los Angeles. Our life in Texas. Living in our 1 bedroom apartment in Las Vegas. My parents. Family. Solitary walks at Mount Charleston. Our first pictures in Portland, Oregon. My grandfather on his deathbed… Forever lost.

Like I said earlier, all of this is almost surely lost. There is still some hope. A teeny bit of chance still exists to save my hard drive. Bob is working on it. But part of me feels like it’s already over. That I really have just lost everything.

I’m taking it better than I thought. Somehow I am not allowing myself to care too much about it. Who cares, really? It’s crazy to think that I could be so incredibly attached to something that really doesn’t matter. Why should it matter? Life is about experiences, right? As long as all of those experiences still exist in my mind, I haven’t really lost anything at all.  I still have everything.

My mind is too tired to think right now. I should be in bed already. I start work tomorrow at 6:00 AM. Why am I still awake? I have been letting my diet go to crap lately. I don’t know how much more I can or should take. Maybe losing everything is a wake up call.

RING, RING!!! WAKE UP!!! GET YOUR LIFE BACK ON TRACK! LIVE FOR EXPERIENCES! EAT RIGHT! BE HEALTHY! LET GO OF ALL MATERIAL POSSESSIONS! BE HAPPY!!!

I thought I was somewhat of a minimalist. Guess I really wasn’t quite there yet. I think I’m the closest I’ve ever been now.

To be honest, it feels kind of liberating. I feel free.

Maybe this is how it is supposed to be.

Much love,

lucycou

Filed in Personal Development, Uncategorized | | Comments (1)

The New Chapter In My Life

Friday, September 3, 2010

I kind of gave up on this blog a while ago. I just didn’t have the interest anymore. The passion got sucked out of me. How did this happen? I’m pretty sure the answer is: I moved to Las Vegas.

Las Vegas is a fine city. I was born and raised here. However, I’m getting to the point in my life where I want to settle down in a place that truly resonates with what I’m really about. So far I’ve lived in Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Henderson and Victora (Texas). None of these places have done it for me. I felt empty at each place.

Portland, however, is where I have wanted to call home for a very long time now. That dream finally came true for me about four days ago when I had a telephone interview for a job in Portland. Within 10 minutes I had a job. My entire life had just changed. Now it’s 4 days later and I’m 12 days away from actually setting foot (for the first time!) in Portland, Oregon. Just thinking about it brings tears of happiness to my eyes and my body shakes with excitement.

The most fascinating aspect of moving to Portland for me is the fact that I won’t be laughed at for being primarily a raw vegan. This is obviously a very important part of who I am, but it’s very difficult to maintain. Texas was a joke when it came to this particular part of me. About 9.8 out of 10 people, upon fully explaining to them what a raw vegan was, would look back at me and say one of the following:

  • “Oh… Huh. But you still eat chicken, right? You need protein. Where would you get your protein?!”
  • “What? You can only eat raw stuff? So you eat raw meat?!”
  • “A ‘Green Smoothie’?! UGH! That sounds and looks DISGUSTING. I could never eat something like that!”
  • “So… YOU WANNA GO TO MCDONALDS AND GET A BURGER?!?!?!?!??! HAHAHAHA!”
  • “Well, come over to my BBQ this weekend anyway. Eat my steak. It’s the best you’ll ever have! Trust me! I’ll make it special for you and it will change your mind about being a vee-gan. Just try it.”

These are all seriously very common responses I would get on  daily basis. It was mind blowing. The most interesting part of it all was just getting used to the blunt rudeness of people. For example, I’d be sitting somewhere drinking my green smoothie (leafy greens and fruit mix; tastes like a fruit smoothie but looks green) and someone would walk past me, obnoxiously stop and stare at my drink and start with a loud gasp: “UGH! What IS that?!??!!?!” Of course, then I’d calmly explain what a green smoothie is, then they’d come back with a: “EWWWW!!! I COULD NEVER DRINK THAT. THAT’S DISGUSTING.” Really? A healthy smoothie made from 60% organic fruits and 40% organic leafy greens is DISGUSTING? I don’t get it. I would understand if I used weird ingredients like raw eggs, raw shrimp, POOP, rocks, vomit, frog legs, etc. Yeah. Then it would be pretty disgusting. But fruits and greens? People’s complete disregard for common decency never failed to astonish me.

So. Yes. I am very excited to move to Portland! The insane amounts of pure NATURE, the culture, the organic FOOD, the arts and museums, the marvelous public transit system, POWELL’S BOOKSTORE, crazy-fun events every weekend, being able to safely ride a bike in public! All these things and MORE. I keep hearing about amazing, only-true-in-my-wildest-dreams things that exist in Portland. For example, employers rewarding employees for recycling, bringing their own reusable mugs/containers to work instead of using the paper cups, paying 50% of your bus pass if you take the bus because they’d like to encourage green living, etc! I have definitely never lived in a place like this. I didn’t know a place like this EXISTED.

True story, while working in Las Vegas I was constantly mocked for 1) being a raw vegan, 2) bringing my own Sigg water bottle to work everyday instead of using the very wasteful coffee cups, 3) bringing my own lunch to work instead of ordering take out with the rest of my coworkers and 4) attempting to take the bus to work instead of driving my car. Yes, it might sound ridiculous, but all very true. I’m very ready to move to a place where all of these things won’t be ridiculous, but common sense.

Of course, the only bad thing about moving away is leaving behind family and friends that I care about. I could write about this forever and feel bad for a long time about leaving them behind, but to be honest, I’m done with feeling bad. I’ve moved 4 times already, so I’m very much accustomed to what happens each time I move. I’m just excited now. My friends and family will always be my friends and family no matter where I go. I need to take care of myself and focus on what will truly fulfill me in life. This is about making life count and taking an active role in my life to make my life the BEST THING EVER. If I’m not doing that, what’s the point of life? Why should I wait 8 months to make my dreams come true instead of making them come true RIGHT NOW? I could die in 2 months. What would I have to say for my life? That I waited too long to just be happy? I’m over the whole waiting part.

Most people ask me how I am able to move so often. How I can just up and decide to change my ENTIRE life from one moment to another. It’s easier than they think. Just go with it. Let the universe guide you. All of the opportunities are there. I don’t make an insane amount of money. But I still move whenever I want. I make it happen. It all just comes down to what is important to you.

Actually, this is kind of really hilariously interesting. I LITERALLY just got this e-mail from Neale Donald Walsch in my inbox:

On this day of your life, Lucila, I believe God wants you to know…

..that the greatest enemy of individual freedom is the individual himself.

Saul Alinsky said that, and he was right. In almost every case, nothing is stopping you, nothing is holding you back but your own thoughts about yourself and about “how life is.”

Your personal freedom to experience yourself and life as you wish is not being limited. Step into your choices and stop telling yourself that you can’t, when what you really mean is that you don’t want other people to feel the way you think that are going to feel when they see you making the choices you really want to make. Got it?

I couldn’t have said it better myself. Make it happen in your life. Just do it. Seriously. That’s the secret to everything in the universe. Just do it. Any and all obstacles come from you and only you. Change your mind about how you view the world and the world will become completely new. Just the way you want it. It’s really that simple.

Now, onto the new chapter in my life! I will update this with new joy and gusto! I will record everything wonderful in my life and hopefully inspire others to keep choosing the best things in their lives every day, all the time. Make life the best thing ever.

Much love!

Filed in Uncategorized | | Comments (2)

What Happened During the Haitus?

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

My last entry was on May 6, 2010. So what happened since that time and now, you ask?

Well, the Mexico trip was a disaster. To make an extremely long story short, I went down to Mexico after I had been juice feasting for a few days and after much, much traveling (16 hour + days), abruptly changing my diet (still 100% raw, but introduced solids too quickly) and the effects of a dramatically different climate – I felt ridiculously … ungood and came back to Las Vegas on an impromptu flight.

My parents and I drove from Las Vegas, NV to Mazatlan, Sinaloa, Mexico. It was quite a ways. We had a lot of problems along the way and when we finally got there, we were very emotionally drained. I did get to see my grandfather on his deathbed. It was very sad to see, but he did finally pass away the night after I had made it back to Las Vegas. All of the abrupt changes didn’t settle well with me and I was feeling very terrible. Weak. Unhealthy. The quality of the food I had access to was very different from what I was used to. I wasn’t taking care of myself because my energies were much too focused on everything else around me. I ignored my diet, which was a big mistake in the middle of a juice feast. I’ve learned my lesson, to say the least.

I purchased an airplane ticket after 5 days of being in Mexico and flew back to Las Vegas. My grandfather died the night after I left, which left me really emotionally distraught. But at least I got to see him and I was able to say my goodbyes. I’m at peace with that.

However, I did come back home with an awkward feeling deep inside. I didn’t like the fact that I got terribly sick, even though I stayed 100% raw the entire time I was down there. I had felt REALLY SICK. After coming back from Mexico, I decided that I no longer wanted to be 100% raw if it meant I was going to feel as bad as I did if anything messed up my diet at all. I felt like it wasn’t smart. It wasn’t efficient. How could a little trip cause so much trouble for me physically? It wasn’t right. I was convinced that I had to reintroduce cooked foods into my diet.

It’s been about 2 months since my trip to Mexico. Since then, I’ve tried a lot of different things regarding my diet. I stopped caring for a while and at a bunch of “bad food”. Bad food meaning cooked foods, homemade meals from family and friends, but never “bad food” as in fast food. I will never succumb to that. My body has been all over the place since Mexico, but I’m finally coming back around to either 100% or a very high raw diet. To put it simply, it just doesn’t feel the same when I’m eating cooked foods. I don’t feel as fantastic. It never comes close. I always strive for the amazing feeling when I’m raw. Nothing compares to it.

I am still finding my way. I don’t expect to figure it all out any time soon. I’m 23 years old and I still have a long ways to go. Life is an adventure. Things change. People change. I change. Who I am now is definitely not who I will be years from now. I know that. I’m excited about that. I’m learning to go with the flow and enjoy the journey. I’ll eventually find balance. I’m looking forward to it. I am enjoying the mistakes I’m making now. It’s all part of life.

I did go on a water/juice feast for about 4-5 days a few weeks ago, though. Sorry I haven’t recorded it. It was going well and I felt pretty good, but my heart wasn’t in it. I don’t know if I was still just feeling all around down from the Mexico trip (emotionally and physically) or what, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I didn’t care for it. So, I stopped. I broke my fast by having homemade eggs and beans at my parent’s house. Eggs from my uncle’s chickens. It was delicious. All organic, all good quality food.

I did experience something extraordinary that both scared the crap (giggles) out of me and also amazed me, though. I had been on my water/juice feast for about 2-3 days and I decided to finally do an enema. It was  quite an experience. I bought a 2 quart bag and intended on using all of it. I mixed in some garlic in the water for a boost in effectiveness.  I started the enema and about a quarter of the way through, I started to experience very strong stomach pains. I immediately stopped the water flow and just stayed still. Relaxed myself. Tried to wait it out.

The pain was too much, so I just went over to the toilet and let it out. Darn. I refilled the bag and tried it again after about 10-15 minutes. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t do it. It was my first enema ever, so I wasn’t too hard on myself. I tried again and this time got halfway through the 2 quart bag before I experienced the stomach pains again. Just as strong. I stopped the water flow and stood up. I tried to bounce around, massage my stomach. The pain was too much.  I went straight to the toilet.

This is when the extraordinary happened. The moment I started to release, I felt an extreme raise in temperature throughout my ENTIRE body. I instantly started to sweat everywhere. Profusely. Ridiculously. I became extremely dizzy, nauseated and weak. I stayed calm, though, and did breathing exercises. This experience lasted for about 3-5 minutes. I’ll be honest, I was pretty scared. I let Katrina know that I was really not feeling well, just in case. I did, for a few seconds, believe that she might have to take me to the emergency room.

However, after about 3-5 minutes, it just completely disappeared. It just went away. 100%. Immediately after, I felt astoundingly clean. Vibrant. Amazing. It was truly a unique feeling I have never had before. I’m assuming it was a thorough cleanse and that I was very toxic. Whatever it was, it was AMAZING. I kid you not, after my enema I was glowing and my skin looked better than it had ever looked before (and I have pretty good skin to begin with). There was definitely a difference. Definitely some results.

Well, that is what I have been up to since my Mexico trip. I apologize to all of you who were following me and abruptly just didn’t get any updates from me. I had to work through some things and figure some stuff out.

As for this blog being strictly about raw food, I’m not too sure about that anymore. I’m sure I’ll still post some raw food recipes and whatnot, but I have more ideas for this blog. We’ll see where it eventually ends up. Immediate plans are not important to me at the moment. It’ll eventually become what it is meant to become. :)

It was been a ride! I guess I just wanted to post this up to let everyone know where I currently am in the raw food world and to also let everyone know that it’s normal for everyone to mess up every once in a while. We all do it. Even the really awesome 100% raw fooders who pretend they don’t lose their way sometimes. People change. Change is a natural part of life. I’m starting to see and realize that change – all change – is good. I don’t think there is such a thing as bad change. I look forward to everything that happens and good will always come out of it, even if it doesn’t seem so. I know I will mess up even after this experience. I’m not too hard on myself anymore. I welcome it. I’ll eventually figure it all out. For now, let’s have some fun.

Much love to all!

ps. This post has not been edited due to laziness and to just get this long, overdue post out there. Sorry! :D

Filed in Personal Development, Raw Food | | Comments (1)

Hiatus – Will Be Gone for 2 Weeks

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Hey everyone.

I’ve been preparing myself for my 1 month juice feast and have pretty much gotten all of the information I need now. I decided to go on a 2 day water fast followed by a 1 month juice feast, then a 1 month blended drinks with juice drinks and then finally solid raw foods (with juices, of course).

However, my grandfather (my mom’s dad) is on his deathbed in Mazatlan, Mexico. My parents and I will be driving to Mazatlan tomorrow morning and hopefully we will make it in time. The juice feast wil have to wait until I get back around the 22-24th of May.

Sorry for the inconvenience and for those who have contacted me and told me they would start a juice feast when I did so they could do it along with me. It’ll just have to wait.

I just hope my family and I make it in time to see my abuelito Coco before his passing. Good luck to us on the trip there (it’s quite a ways from Las Vegas to Mazatlan!).

Much love to all of you and will start the juice feast when I get back. I don’t know how my raw food diet will work in Mexico, but I’m going to try my best to not mess it up so much. Mexicans love to make food and I hate to offend them by not eating their food. We’ll see how it goes. I might update from there if I can get access to a computer. I might actually be in a small village called Palos Blancos the entire time. Definitely no internet access there! Barely any electricity. But ahh… love that place. That is where my grandpa lives. At least he’s living out his days in his favorite place in the world. Nothing can take him away from Palos Blancos.

Much love!

Filed in Uncategorized | | Comments (4)